HAPPY B-DAY
Today is my birthday and I’m not doing anything special.
There comes a time when birthdays stop being special. They’re just another day in a series of mundane, everyday occurrences. You still go to work. You’re boss still yells at you (if not more). And there’s nothing anyone can get you that you haven’t or couldn’t buy for yourself on any other day. And the stuff you can’t afford, they can’t either.
I was afraid this day would follow the same pattern from the past two years, when I said I didn’t want anything, but changed my mind at the last minute and sulked when people actually listened to me. Another result of my fatherless childhood, I find myself acting like a female sometimes. But today, I’m pleasantly surprised that I meant what I said, today is just an ordinary day, and I’m happy with that.
If I’m lucky my wife will blow me.
The only woman who ever made me climax from one, and I make her work for it. She’s perfected a style over the years. At first, it was pretty standard, all mouth, no variety, but she learned pretty fast that wouldn’t work on me. And I wasn’t shaving my crotch in those days, so she’d pause often to pick my groin naps from her teeth. But after eleven and a half years, oral sex has become delicacy I look forward to with excitement. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last too long, it only takes a few minutes before she gets tired and has to stop.
My wife has a small mouth. And at first, I thought she was just making up a story to get out of doing me, but a day at the dentist confirmed it. The dentist commented on her having an unusually small mouth for a woman her size, and she couldn’t wait to tell me. Of course, this did nothing to make me feel better. It only proved that I am the black “Charlie Brown”. I’m a black man with just enough white blood in my veins to keep my skin a nice coco butter brown and stunt my dick growth. A black man with a white man’s penis, and that’s still too big to get blown on a consistent basis. Meanwhile, there’s brothas sporting 8+ inches and getting their tool swallowed by women who fear their vagina couldn’t handle the strain.
I once had a girlfriend who loved sucking dick. She was black, only been with two other guys, the first being a boyfriend, John (and coworker of mine), who knocked her up, and the second was my friend, Lewis. They had a dramatic love triangle that could only exist in Niggaworld (I’m black, so I can use that term). She was eight months pregnant when I met her, but we hooked up shortly after she’d given birth. I was one of the few people who visited her in the hospital and the “father” was non-existent, so she clung to me, started calling me from the hospital, then everyday from home, and next I knew she was announcing me as her boyfriend. I had no other prospects so I ran with it, and I’d already seen her skill when I watched her and John have sex (they invited me for a three-way, but I declined). I remember the first night we were together and things got pretty hot, I was all ready to get sucked on when I realized I had no erection.
Now, John was pack'n, seriously pack'n. And when I went to unzip my fly and she was drooling to use my penis as a lollypop, I got this image in my head of John’s tool in comparison with my own. I got nervous, lost my erection, and had to think of some excuse why a healthy heterosexual man wouldn’t want a blowjob from a woman who obviously liked doing it. I was a romantic in those days, or claimed to be, so the first thing that came to mind was telling her I didn’t want to do it until we were in love. Stupid, but she bought it and I ate her pussy instead. The same thing happened when it was time to consummate our “relationship”, I went flaccid and used the love excuse. After that, things went bad pretty damn fast and she cheated on me with John, Lewis got wind of it and we broke-up.
I didn’t love her, but it hurt when she left. Not because I felt I’d failed as a man, but because I missed the opportunity to get blown real well. I tried to make up for it after that, but every girl I’d been with either didn’t do it or the relationship didn’t last that long and we never became that intimate. Until I met my wife…
I think my wife likes big penises.
She says she doesn’t and it’s a myth that women do. But everywhere I turn, I hear or see women expressing the opposite opinion. I remember the most disheartening experience I had watching pornography. I’d ordered The Best Of Tiffany Million on video, a series of her best scenes, chosen by her, and in-between were segments from an interview. In one, she mentioned dick size - “Sorry guys, but big dicks feel better…the wider a women’s pussy is opened by a dick, the better it feels.”
I stopped the tape and haven’t watched it since.
Whenever I become insecure about my penis size, my wife is quick to mention a boyfriend she had in high school who was nine inches. She was this little 5’4”, barley a hundred pounds, and this little Korean girl was scared silly of this monstrous thing. But when I listen to her story, I feel more for the lighter-shade of brown brotha who saw her reaction and was embarrassed. He told her that a lot of girls are afraid of it and he was sorry. So my wife uses that story to comfort and assure me that I’m the perfect size for her. But that was before I lost weight.
I discovered three years ago that the size of a man’s penis and how it looks visually is related to his overall physique. You get a guy who’s short and skinny with an average size penis and he could look like John Holmes. But, you get a fat guy with a good eight inches, and though he’s hanging, if he’s too fat, it looks like a baby’s wanker. That’s what happened to me when I ballooned to two hundred and thirty-eight pounds. But when I lost the weight and dropped to 137…well, lets just say I was real happy with the results. And so was my wife. Oh, she may deny it. I mean, what woman, love or not, wants a 238 pound man dropping on her? So when I lost the weight, we had great sex. But what I really noticed, was her… “fascination” with my new penis. She’d comment on how big it looked, always reaching for it, seeing it would drive her into a frenzy. One morning before work, I’d just come out of the shower, she was half-asleep, and she just reached for it and got busy until my daughter woke-up and ruined it. And I began to wonder if that story about the nine-inch guy was totally true.
One of these days I’ll put it to the test. I’ll come home with some insane size dildo and see how she reacts. Worse case scenario, I’ll need a dick implant, or one of those pumps to gain some weight. Best case…is there a best case scenario? Isn’t the worst that could happen actually the best?
I mean, if my wife is into big dicks, that would make her a more sexual being than I originally thought. And then the question is, “What wouldn’t she do?” If she likes big, I could get big by losing weight or surgical enhancement. And that goes back to my “I’m Every Woman” spiel from a couple months back. People change, regardless of age, no one stays the same. But women traverse a multitude of personas over their lifetime, where men pretty much stay the same. Our changes are minute, like going from Vitamin D milk to soy.
But women become totally different people. A woman can be an ugly duckling in elementary, a nerd girl in high school, and then explode into a hottie in college and become a playmate, get prudish in her mid to late twenties after doing all kinds of crazy shit, get married and have kids becoming “mommy dearest”, and then hit her forties and want to swing, post nude pictures on the net, or star in a MILF porn video. And all men have to do is be patient enough to wait and time will make our wildest fantasies come true.
So today I’m thirty-three and my life is pretty normal. But who knows, ten years from now, you could be jerking off to me while I’m fucking my wife in high-definition.
Time will tell.
JPG.
There comes a time when birthdays stop being special. They’re just another day in a series of mundane, everyday occurrences. You still go to work. You’re boss still yells at you (if not more). And there’s nothing anyone can get you that you haven’t or couldn’t buy for yourself on any other day. And the stuff you can’t afford, they can’t either.
I was afraid this day would follow the same pattern from the past two years, when I said I didn’t want anything, but changed my mind at the last minute and sulked when people actually listened to me. Another result of my fatherless childhood, I find myself acting like a female sometimes. But today, I’m pleasantly surprised that I meant what I said, today is just an ordinary day, and I’m happy with that.
If I’m lucky my wife will blow me.
The only woman who ever made me climax from one, and I make her work for it. She’s perfected a style over the years. At first, it was pretty standard, all mouth, no variety, but she learned pretty fast that wouldn’t work on me. And I wasn’t shaving my crotch in those days, so she’d pause often to pick my groin naps from her teeth. But after eleven and a half years, oral sex has become delicacy I look forward to with excitement. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last too long, it only takes a few minutes before she gets tired and has to stop.
My wife has a small mouth. And at first, I thought she was just making up a story to get out of doing me, but a day at the dentist confirmed it. The dentist commented on her having an unusually small mouth for a woman her size, and she couldn’t wait to tell me. Of course, this did nothing to make me feel better. It only proved that I am the black “Charlie Brown”. I’m a black man with just enough white blood in my veins to keep my skin a nice coco butter brown and stunt my dick growth. A black man with a white man’s penis, and that’s still too big to get blown on a consistent basis. Meanwhile, there’s brothas sporting 8+ inches and getting their tool swallowed by women who fear their vagina couldn’t handle the strain.
I once had a girlfriend who loved sucking dick. She was black, only been with two other guys, the first being a boyfriend, John (and coworker of mine), who knocked her up, and the second was my friend, Lewis. They had a dramatic love triangle that could only exist in Niggaworld (I’m black, so I can use that term). She was eight months pregnant when I met her, but we hooked up shortly after she’d given birth. I was one of the few people who visited her in the hospital and the “father” was non-existent, so she clung to me, started calling me from the hospital, then everyday from home, and next I knew she was announcing me as her boyfriend. I had no other prospects so I ran with it, and I’d already seen her skill when I watched her and John have sex (they invited me for a three-way, but I declined). I remember the first night we were together and things got pretty hot, I was all ready to get sucked on when I realized I had no erection.
Now, John was pack'n, seriously pack'n. And when I went to unzip my fly and she was drooling to use my penis as a lollypop, I got this image in my head of John’s tool in comparison with my own. I got nervous, lost my erection, and had to think of some excuse why a healthy heterosexual man wouldn’t want a blowjob from a woman who obviously liked doing it. I was a romantic in those days, or claimed to be, so the first thing that came to mind was telling her I didn’t want to do it until we were in love. Stupid, but she bought it and I ate her pussy instead. The same thing happened when it was time to consummate our “relationship”, I went flaccid and used the love excuse. After that, things went bad pretty damn fast and she cheated on me with John, Lewis got wind of it and we broke-up.
I didn’t love her, but it hurt when she left. Not because I felt I’d failed as a man, but because I missed the opportunity to get blown real well. I tried to make up for it after that, but every girl I’d been with either didn’t do it or the relationship didn’t last that long and we never became that intimate. Until I met my wife…
I think my wife likes big penises.
She says she doesn’t and it’s a myth that women do. But everywhere I turn, I hear or see women expressing the opposite opinion. I remember the most disheartening experience I had watching pornography. I’d ordered The Best Of Tiffany Million on video, a series of her best scenes, chosen by her, and in-between were segments from an interview. In one, she mentioned dick size - “Sorry guys, but big dicks feel better…the wider a women’s pussy is opened by a dick, the better it feels.”
I stopped the tape and haven’t watched it since.
Whenever I become insecure about my penis size, my wife is quick to mention a boyfriend she had in high school who was nine inches. She was this little 5’4”, barley a hundred pounds, and this little Korean girl was scared silly of this monstrous thing. But when I listen to her story, I feel more for the lighter-shade of brown brotha who saw her reaction and was embarrassed. He told her that a lot of girls are afraid of it and he was sorry. So my wife uses that story to comfort and assure me that I’m the perfect size for her. But that was before I lost weight.
I discovered three years ago that the size of a man’s penis and how it looks visually is related to his overall physique. You get a guy who’s short and skinny with an average size penis and he could look like John Holmes. But, you get a fat guy with a good eight inches, and though he’s hanging, if he’s too fat, it looks like a baby’s wanker. That’s what happened to me when I ballooned to two hundred and thirty-eight pounds. But when I lost the weight and dropped to 137…well, lets just say I was real happy with the results. And so was my wife. Oh, she may deny it. I mean, what woman, love or not, wants a 238 pound man dropping on her? So when I lost the weight, we had great sex. But what I really noticed, was her… “fascination” with my new penis. She’d comment on how big it looked, always reaching for it, seeing it would drive her into a frenzy. One morning before work, I’d just come out of the shower, she was half-asleep, and she just reached for it and got busy until my daughter woke-up and ruined it. And I began to wonder if that story about the nine-inch guy was totally true.
One of these days I’ll put it to the test. I’ll come home with some insane size dildo and see how she reacts. Worse case scenario, I’ll need a dick implant, or one of those pumps to gain some weight. Best case…is there a best case scenario? Isn’t the worst that could happen actually the best?
I mean, if my wife is into big dicks, that would make her a more sexual being than I originally thought. And then the question is, “What wouldn’t she do?” If she likes big, I could get big by losing weight or surgical enhancement. And that goes back to my “I’m Every Woman” spiel from a couple months back. People change, regardless of age, no one stays the same. But women traverse a multitude of personas over their lifetime, where men pretty much stay the same. Our changes are minute, like going from Vitamin D milk to soy.
But women become totally different people. A woman can be an ugly duckling in elementary, a nerd girl in high school, and then explode into a hottie in college and become a playmate, get prudish in her mid to late twenties after doing all kinds of crazy shit, get married and have kids becoming “mommy dearest”, and then hit her forties and want to swing, post nude pictures on the net, or star in a MILF porn video. And all men have to do is be patient enough to wait and time will make our wildest fantasies come true.
So today I’m thirty-three and my life is pretty normal. But who knows, ten years from now, you could be jerking off to me while I’m fucking my wife in high-definition.
Time will tell.
JPG.
posted by QABBAL at 3:00 PM
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